Why Dine In Hell: The Reason behind the Madness

For people who missed last year's challenge, understand how it all started this by reading this preliminairy post.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

King Leonidas Halloween Costume: Michel Dines In Hell.

I'd watch this one instead; it's longer, but illustrates the situation better.

"The old ones say we Spartans are descended from Hercules himself. Bold Leonidas gives testament to our bloodline, his roar is long and loud.

"Remember us", as simple an order as a king can give, "remember why we died".

For he did not wish tribute or song, nor monuments, nor poems of war and valor. His wish was simple: "Remember us", he said to me. That was his hope, should any free soul come across that place, in all the countless centuries yet to be, may all our voices, whisper to you, from the ageless stones.
Go tell the Spartans passerby that here by Spartan law, we lie."

And so my king died, and my brothers died, barely a year ago. Long I pondered my king's cryptic talk of victory, but time has proven him wise, for from free Greek to free Greek, the word has spread that bold Leonidas and his 300, so far from home, laid down their lives, not just for Sparta, but for all Greece and the promise this country holds. Now, here on this rugged patch of earth called Plataea, Xerxes' hordes face obliteration! Just there the barbarians huddle. Sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers, knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the swords and spears of 300, yet they stare now, across the plain, at ten thousand Spartans, commanding thirty thousand free Greeks.
The enemy outnumber us a paltry three to one. Good odds for any Greek. This day we rescue the world from mysticism and tyranny and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine. Give thanks men, to Leonidas and the brave 300.*

To victory!"

Those were the words that struck me. That pushed me to press play again and again. I've seen this movie 57 times so far and am playing it as I'm writing this post. This "dumb action movie" – as some qualify it – changed my life. I advise you to watch it again and pay attention to the script. It has nothing to do with amazing cinematography or semi naked men in Speedos (yes, I admit it). It's about the principles they hold. About never yielding in the face of adversity. In dying standing than living on one's knees. 

*When I quote Delios, about Greek versus Persian, I do not hint at anything regarding my political views. Although, this movie might be read by some as a direct parallelism to current political situations, I see it, as Leonidas says, as "few against many". About two clans facing each other. About Respect and Honor. And that is all.

Now here are the pictures of the costume. Happy Halloween indeed.
can you imagine I looked like this 65 days ago?!! THE SHAME!! :D

the one with wounds makeup.
Barber's ought to cut the beard right (or I'll kick him in the pit of death as this is no longer Beirut... but SPARTA!)

I'd probably solve it this way... (by the way, I'm gonna Photoshop this into the Thermopylae background... just give me a couple of days! :P

with the makeup!




Here it is. The final curtain. We're the 31st and the past 2 days were literally CRAZY! As you can see from the final progress pictures below, I actually got there! But I not only I dropped 12.1 kgs in SIXTY FIVE DAYS. And got muscular. And got ripped. But the Blog got around 3000 views only yesterday and amassed around 24000 views up till now. And I made friends worldwide. And got on television...

That's one hell of a feat! This whole project went far beyond my expectations. Guys, I'm humbled by your reactions. Really. Thank you. Maybe now I should go ahead and actually seek out Gerard Butler, Zack Snyder and Frank Miller to show them what I've done. Or maybe try to get to the new Xerxes movie and act out as an extra! Now THAT would be CRAAAZY! :D

So here we are. The final progress pictures. I'll post the costume pictures and the party(ies) pictures in the next entry – in a bit don't worry, i know you wanna see how the costume turned out. :)

the final beard stage before trimming and shaping for Leo's beard! clients were scaaared! ;)

Next post I'll will have the costumes and party pictures. :P


Saturday, October 30, 2010

D-0. DAY 0. THIS IS IT. TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!! / Costume preparation sneak peaks


ok. so i m really sorry guys i couldnt blog before about this. Would you believe me if I said that all of this is a TAD hectic?! :D I was supposed to take off from work today but duty called. It's been a marathon to work on the costume as well. I decided that everything should be done at home as it should be. No buying a costume. no ordering one from the internet and especially NO OUTSOURCING to a fashion designer which will add "épaulettes" to the costume and become non-faithful to the original design. The base of course were pictures of Leonidas at different angles, AND (my favorite) MY 12" Leonidas Collectible 'who' always sits on my book shelf, on top of my computer, reminding me to never give up and keep on thriving.

It was an honor to have as my main helper: Aida Karsouny, my mom; who's had so much experience with my previous halloween costumes from when I was 3 to 10 years of age. She personally sewed me a Ninja Turtles Michelangelo costume, a Disney's Robin Hood costume, a Shere Khan costume, a brilliant Bumblebee costume which made me win a competition (Karsounys have always been competitive ;) – I'm gonna reveal to you a secret... people thought I was a BEE when I won the competition, ergo, a girl... not proud to say this but I had my hair covered, and since Michel also sounds like MICHELLE, people didn't pick up the slight difference in shape at age 7... :)

ANYWHO... so here I am. I'm actually completely dressed up. (written on friday) Not gonna show you everything today, but rather the process. Am gonna party like craaaazy at Chocolate, "document the night" – and the booze and craziness – and show you the final tomorrow(today)!!
I look at myself in the mirror as I add the bruises and scrapes. I actually have a ripped body. 65 days exactly after this blog has started. I've come a LOOONG way since these 2 short months. Pushed myself as hard as I could and I've even had. Went to the hospital more than I'd like to admit. Made very good friends, chitchatted with very nice and interesting people all around the world, simply by sitting behind my computer and by putting my every single day out there.

Guys, thank you so much for the great comments. I can't thank you enough. We're at 19000 views now and the blog has featured in blogs in based Brazil, Germany, France, Kuwait, Malaysia, Russia, China, the US, Canada and other countries. The bloggers helped out BIGTIME in spreading the word about the blog.

You know, we were having a discussion a friend and I yesterday, it went something like this:
- so whatever happened to your spartan army? People are gonna come dressed up as Spartans to the party?
- dude... I don't think so cause I mean, I wouldn't have dressed up half naked with my beer belly 2 months ago and not everyone of my friends have 6 packs...
- yeah well not everyone can stare at a Fondant au Chocolat or any other desert without DEVOURING IT eventually ...

That put a smile on my face but I realized something: THERE IS NO WAY I could've gone all the way without you. Without having to open a blank post on the blog every day and pounding away for an hour about my every thought and plans on the project. It was about my ego, about saying something and doing it, all the way, no matter what; it's about keeping a promise and not breaking it.

I've had something similar with a client and a close friend last December. I was really under pressure and had promised to design her something; then, after trying a hell lot, I had realized that I wasn't qualified/trained enough for that kind of project. And after a LOT of reluctance, I had to discontinue working and admit to her that I couldn't do it – and obviously felt really bad about it. Secretly, this blog has somewhat also been a way to make things straight with myself. To prove to myself that I won't settle and stop trying until I get to what I said I would get to. That I would keep a promise.
I know that person is reading what I'm writing and following closely because I know how much she cares about me and respect me – like I do. If you're reading R, I hope I proved myself to you and showed you that I'm not the kind of person that backs away from things. I really miss you and feel like an idiot to have cut contact with you. I will call you soon and would love to hang out. Till then, Happy Halloween... I DID IT!! :D

Check out later's posts for the COSTUME, final progress will be posted in the coming days.
By the way, I'm gonna be on national TV today (saturday 30th) on MTV's "Log In" with Philip Yacoub at 6:00PM to talk about the whole experience. Check me out.

Now me go PARTYYYYYYY!!!!! (that was said yesterday. :) update you in a bit!)


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Michel Dines In Hell on "Log In" on MTV :) & Party & Costume Logistics

Tune in on MTV this Saturday 30th at 6:10 PM for a Halloween Special on "Log In" with Philip Yacoub featuring yours truly as I talk about "Michel Dines In Hell"! – the blog in case someone didn't get that ;)

By the way, I know I haven't blogged for the past couple of days; I've been trying to compensate extra for "some" work I had slightly postponed.

On D-1 and D-2 thought I'd party for a cause (2 actually) – as you know, Halloween is on Sunday so parties are on friday 29th and saturday 30th!! :(

Party 1 on Friday 29th: Donner Sang Compter's "Party for our Bloody Cause" at Chocolate Club (got a table in my name if you guys are interested drop me a line or call me up!)

Party 2 on Saturday 30th: at EM Chill Mar Mikhael (end of gemmayze)
The cool thing about both these parties are that I'm sure the mood will be crazy. No people that "don't dress up for Halloween cause it's stupid". Just crazy ass genuine down to earth people that just wanna have an amazing time, and THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I NEED! ESPECIALLY THAT I HAVEN'T HAD EVEN ONE SIP OF ALCOHOL FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS!!! BRING IN THE DOODOO SHOTTTSSS!! :))

I'm working on my costume now!
I was thinking of asking either my cousin Edward Arsouni (yeah not Karsouny...mine is cooler) or Hass Idriss, both great fashion designers to help me with the costume. But I figured, if mom helped me out with my first 10, she should have great experience! She sewed a Shere Khan costume, a Ninja turtle one, a Bumblebee one (where people thought I was a bee ...ergo a girl... I was 6 and was telling people my name was Michel(le) with my 6 year old voice... you know...) ... so on so forth; The best person EVER to help me out – and it's an honor for me – is MY MOM!! :)

We haven't been spending some good old Mother & Son time so that would be perfect! I hope we'll pull it off!

Can I end this post with HAOUUU!?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I decided that the difference between Day 1 and Day 3 (when I started taking the daily pictures doesn't really differ anymore now that the progress has leaped completely.

Here we are after 50 days, with 10 days total of rest because of the stupid chab'it hawa (or "muscle inflammation/lesion" caused by air conditioning as different doctors call it).

Without further ado, here's the progress 10 days prior to the big night.  

the extra weight training gave shaped to the shoulders pretty well, especially since the last 2 weeks with the heavy weights and low reps.
NO. It's not blown up on purpose, stop saying that. We're on day 3 here and I'm trying to be as accurate as possible. Hey, check out the man boobs in the 1st one! :D
Add caption
I CANT BELIEVE I WAS THAT FAT! Actually I also can't believe my back looks that slim :)
Beard is still growing, I gotta trim it right when the time comes to get the Spartan shape
A bit more muscular than week 5 because of higher weights and lower reps and obviously less cardio.
same posture as 10 days ago yet 3 kgs lighter. Muscle mass remained because of the high protein intake, however, Fat dropped by lowering carbs and the caloric intake.

I guess I should start also working on the costume now. I'll update you tomorrow on the plan. Gotta pull both off well to have a complete Leonidas.
I was thinking of attending the Donner Sang Compter fund raiser for Halloween. It's for a good cause, Yorgui Tayrouz has saved so many lives with his NGO, providing donors in case someone needs blood. He's definitely making a difference and I want to support him. Blood and Leonidas do go together don't they? Lame BAD joke! ARGH! I suggest you to do the same if you don't have anything planned. Actually guys, let's all meet up and really make something out of this Halloween night. I've been working on it for the past 53 days and would really love the culmination of all that effort to be one FANTASTIC NIGHT! I'd love it if you all showed dressed amazingly in any costume, as long as it's worked on and fun! (you could also come as Spartans so we can have ourselves an army. That would be friggin' awesome! 

Let me know what you think. 

I'm off! Lots to do between work, training, blogging and now the costume!? It's gonna be one hell of a stretch! No worries, I can handle it ;)


Tuesday, October 19, 2010


The 5 REST DAYS ARE FINALLY OVER! I trusted my reason and stopped training because of the muscle lesion I had in my left chest. I really feel better now. The pain is gone and I'm really excited to start off the final stretch: we have 11 days to go!

5 days of no training and I'm actually wondering what I did during all these extra hours that I got now that I wasn't blogging for around an hour and a half, training for another hour, walking in the morning for yet another one. Four free extra hours a day!! I drew. I caught up with work I was doing. But I also read a lot about training.
I started wondering what I was gonna do after this whole shebang was over.
I really feel like keeping the training going. I actually really feel like bodybuilding for a while. A friend of mine that's a crazy – yet very professional – muscle man Tariq Abou Nassar really put me in the mood of big time body sculpting. That doesn't mean I'm gonna train for the Olympia but I'd keep it going let's say 3 times a week which seems very moderate and fun. I would maintain where I got to without having all the extra pressure of getting at peak state.
I'm considering very heavy weight for mass without taking any weight gain supplements. Because I'm obviously not going to be at my best on Halloween, I decided to continue my diet and training till I'm fully satisfied with the fully sculpted 8 pack I've been trying to pull off for the Leonidas costume. The muscle mass would show completely with that drop in body fat percentage so I wouldn't really have to worry about making the rest of the physique look like Leonidas, if I have a striated 6-pack, it means that every single detail of the rest will show too, along with veins if I continue the weight training.
There's also the Beirut Marathon I'm thinking of checking out – the 10K fun run – but the thing is that I'm still going to be cutting and can't handle a 10K run with the diet's low caloric intake.

here's where I am so far not flexed
and flexed

This means I'm probably gonna go for another 2 to 3 weeks on the diet and training regimen but without stressing. I could update you if you still wanna follow up after Halloween, although the primary challenge would've been complete. I wanna keep on going till I get to 84 kgs and stabilize there. Last time I was at that weight I was 17. It felt great. I felt LIIIIGHT. Last time I was at Ricardo's I had dropped to 90. Apart from the Hardees 5 Star Burger and fries I pounded yesterday at 10:30PM, I've been keeping up bigtime and am hopefully expecting to have dropped 2kgs this week. I'm not ashamed of the burger by the way, I've cheated only 4 times during this whole 54 days; I even was put in situations where one would fold, but I didn't. This week end was my sis and Karly's bdays and I got faced with a lot of temptation with all the tasty cakes that everyone was inhaling. "Walaw 3id okhtak! Yalla kol gateau! Kirméla!", and I'm like "CHOU KERMELA!?! Happy Birthday! I'm here and struggling! What more do you want from me!?!".
Karly's chicken, turkey, tuna, egg, Picon and bone cake for his 1 year old bday
check out Chrine's cake on the left. Didn't Touch it! :)
In any case, let me let you in on an little secret: after a while you mind can't imagine the taste and texture of any given food you haven't had for a long time. So you can be even staring at a Chili's Old Timer with Chili all over the fries and AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SMELL THE FOOD, YOU WON'T CRAVE IT! It would feel as if you're staring at anything. At a couch or at a wall or a shoe. Im dead serious. That's why a lot of people say that as soon as you surpass the 21 day limit, new habits settle in and things become A LOT easier. Trust me, I'm living it day by day:
1. you use your enthusiasm at first
2.  you make a commitment to AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN, especially the ones that encourage you or the annoying ones that want to see you fail, just so they call you on it if you don't follow up.
3. Keep it going till it becomes a habit past 21 days. When I say 21 days I don't mean taking a break on week ends. That's very important. You shouldn't be reminded YET of what this kind of food tastes like because in your mind it SHOULDN'T BE A BREAK from the agony of dieting. You should never view dieting as a burden, but more as a conscious change in lifestyle. You should make it in a way so you get MORE PLEASURE OUT OF NOT EATING JUNK rather than feeling pain. You need to feel pleasure for consuming healthy foods. Afterall, YOU'RE CHANGING YOUR LIFE!! That's the exciting part. Not a stupid burger. It's JUST A BURGER. WHO'S STRONGER!? YOU OR A BURGER!?! (or a Krispy Kreme glazed Donut?!). After the 21 days, a burger might taste good, but it wouldn't be like "sweet mother of goood I'm free at last", but more of, "that was good". It will be JUST ANOTHER MEAL and that's what you want to get to. Junk food shouldn't be a prized treasure, but just a food like any other meal. By the way, although the burger was good, my body got so used to non-junk food that I kept burping onions till this morning!

Here's where I fall: MY SENSE OF SMELL BETRAYS ME! So I make it a point to steer clear from any place that does that to me. Roadsters included (Krispy Kreme, McDonalds or fast food places that use the fake french fried smell so that you just rush in, any patisserie that serves Knefeh... etc).

On a completely other note, I decided to keep growing my beard till way after halloween. I donno if this matters to you but I'm kinda getting used to the whole Captain Caveman - Cousin IT thing that's going on. It would keep me warm anyways for snowboarding season. Maybe I could bleach if for Christmas even and dress up as Santa! But no I'm serious, imagine where it would get to if I kept it till April!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

OK! No more blabbering. I'm visiting Ricardo in a half hour for my new diet and weight. I'll be posting my overall progress tomorrow with different angles and poses so you could asses where I am, and it will be cutting and muscle building and dieting – and costume making ;) – all the way till the 30th! Halloween!

By the way, I haven't decided where I want to party, so please let me know on your suggestions. Maybe we could even meet up in one place and party like there's no tomorrow! That'd be really fun and I could finally see who's been following. That'd be really awesome! AND I COULD FINALLY HAVE MY MEXICAN BEERS AND DOO DOO SHOTS!!! :D:D:D (only for that night and then we tone it down again)


Thursday, October 14, 2010

DAY 48: 17 days to go: TRUST YOUR REASON

I even felt like HER yesterday. I'm glad it's solved.

I got people pretty pissed yesterday and have been called names, mostly nouns circling around the word: "idiot"; imbecile, moron, stupid, mad, débile, con and the arabic ones too mastoul, mou3aq, ahbal ...etc

I mean, yes, you're right. Is it worth fucking my body and having the injury "get in the way of everything I might want to do in the future" like snowboarding, the marathon I've been telling you about, swimming, or maybe even training for a bodybuilding competition (that would be mad but an even more crazy challenge). Another very good point is that although I've been training only for Halloween and becoming Leonidas, I've been really appreciating the body I'm started to shape. Would I want to just drop my 6 pack and soon to be vein-y physique just because Halloween is over? I mean I want to get my Super Sampler at Roadsters and GO TO TOOOWN with this badboy but do I have to do it day in day out? Do I have to order 220 burgers with fries and 6 types of dip? my selection had been honey mustard, thousand island, hot buffalow sauce, hot barbecue sauce, barbecue, cocktail sauces SIMULTANEOUSLY up to 48 days ago – dipping fries in different ones in one go creates new and exciting flavors to add to your palette :P  Do I really wannt stop working on my body? Even If I won't do it as intensely as now, wouldn't I want to maintain the fruits of 2 months of non stop grueling labour? Is Halloween truly the end like I had planned and is another Nutty Professor phase going to settle in instead? Now that all of this is laid out on the table, is Halloween still more important than not getting injured permanently as to not even have the option of maintaing a new healthy lifestlye? I doubt it.

It 's more clear to me now. Halloween should be the beginning. I want to maintain Leonidas and not drop back to becoming pathetic Gerard Butler right after the movie, stuffing his face with whatever he could see. Gerard Butler has nothing to do with this. It's the role he played, actually, he's the body, the vessel King Leonidas manifested himself in after more than 2400 years to give reach out to some specific people that took him and his message serioulsy. Haha! If I put it that way, as awkward as it might sound, I'm a "disciple" of Leonidas! (No Blasphemy intended ok? So don't burn me at the stake).
This Halloween project started out as a fun challenge, but it's so much more than that. It's proof of what I (we) can achieve when setting ONE SPECIFIC GOAL, and focusing all our energy on it.

To be honest, I don't know how I managed to train and keep a whole working day going; it's just that:
1. The Reason I had (you know, it's not banal for me, I've been wanting to pull off this costume for a couple of years. You know what 300 means to me.)
2. The Leverage – what would happen if I don't pull it off? What kind of pain would I feel if I dont? versus what kind of pleasure if I do? What would happen if I would pull it off?
3. The Plan/Deadline which makes you RUN and panic and figure it out all for this day
4. The Fun of it all – the blog, the ridiculousness, Karly, the adventures, the new nutrition, sports, philosophy, psychology, motivational material ...etc all that new information and action that the project demanded
5. The input, feedback and all the awesome reaction I got out of you guys
... All of those just kept the boat sailing and it seems hopefully will get me to my destination.

Hellie said something very nice yesterday, a bit aggressive and demeaning at some point but the message got through:
"you re an idiot. REST! you know better. You re gonna get injured permanent if you don't stop! Leonidas is a myth you moron! he didnt look like that!! FRANK MILLER MADE HIM LIKE THAT HE S A FUCKING COMIC BOOK CHARACTER AND A MOVIE! Who cares if you get veins and remove all your fat!! You changed your body like crazy and we all see it! Take a break for a couple of days. We wont know the difference I promise."

Rami said: "Slow down, take a step back, look at what you have achieved. And be proud of it. Stop pushing yourself into injury, you know that's not good. You have come a long way. I think your outfit is complete. Your challenge now is to keep what you have achieved in the long run, and maintain it. Create some sort of balance.
Dont be a fool. Nothing is worth injuring yourself for. Because it will get in the way of everything you might want to do in the future. It will also hinder you from maintaining the physical fitness you are currently in."
I'm gonna come to a compromise: I'm not going to train if any pain comes along. 5 days are a long stretch. They're not gonna happen. They'll ruin everything. But 1 day's rest as soon as pain comes along – or enough days for the pain to subside – is more than reasonable. I'll make sure to keep treating the inflammation with cream and meds and although it's not ideal, will try to trail it with me till the 30th, where I'll take a good week's rest – and hopefully start over. 
For wasn't Leonidas that answered "I'd prefer you trusted your reason" when one of the Ephors advised him to "Trust the gods"? 

One of my favorite parts:

"The old ones say we Spartans are descended from Hercules himself. Bold Leonidas makes testament to our bloodline. His roar is long and loud"

"Stelios: It's an Honor to die by your side
King Leonidas: It's an Honor to have lived at yours."

One thing I have to understand though; Leonidas dragged 300 of him men to Thermopylae where he waged a battle against 10 000 men of the persian empire (not a Million like the operadic version of Miller) as a symbol of his unshakable Spartan principles: "No retreat, No surrender". He did this to inspire the greeks to wage war and face the persians instead of simply knealing and erasing their culture from the pages of history. Now this is extreme. Is it reasonable? Well it lead to a Greek victory in Platea a year later. 
Extrapolate to my case: If I train through the pain, I might not even get to Halloween day and would ruin everything; I might not be able to persue sports and keep in shape; I would not accomplish ANYTHING for later on. If I train through the pain, I'd be only losing on the short run in Halloween and on the long run.

I didn't end up training yesterday – to be honest I started with some triceps extentions but decided to stop! And believe me that's already great with all my obsination and immaturity.
By the way, I need to start thinking of costume building. If I want to make as genuine as it is, I need to start planning and looking for different materials, props, a blacksmith, maybe even a dressmaker from now. Any suggestions on where I could find someone that could help me build the Sword, Shield and Spear? 
By far, the favorite piece in my collection
For best proportions and results, I'll base everything on my Leonidas Action Figure. It's not a toy. It's an action figure and a collectible so shut up.
Here's to Reason!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

DAY 47: 18 days to go: INJURED AND TRAINING. I'm an idiot.

I feel exactly how she does. She is confused: "Is it because the moon is far away or is it actually smaller then elephants?". 
Read on.

When 3 doctors say: "rest it out for a minimum of 5 days", what does it mean?
Does it mean: "you can train lightly" or "ah, if you feel a bit better train very heavy"? NO! It means fucking sit down, rest, do something else, DO NOT train...
Do you think I listened?

... I mean look at this blog. All this writing and research, plus the training, running, dieting and etcetera has happened because, I'm obviously taking this "a bit" seriously. I mean can you imagine me just SITTING IT OUT!? I could't stay on the couch, in front of the TV, reading... taking my mind off the fact that I still have 20 days to pull off a crazy feat. I think I'm still far FAR away from my goal, and I simply can't handle hindering the process AGAIN. I barely have time to pull it off. I mean BARELY. I have only 14 days to drop as much fat as possible, because I need to carb up the last 4 days.

So here's what happened: Day 46, I took Shoulders Triceps a bit to the extreme. 35kg shoulder presses - don't forget I haven't trained for 2 years so I only managed to pull off 6 reps per set. 20kg Arnold presses, Rear delt seated flyes, Pulley flyes. PERFECT. "Sonne" kept on playing on and on. FULL BLAST on my ipod. Kept on going with Triceps and only worked with the total gym: pulley training, different angles, different grips to work all the 3 heads of the triceps. Every thing went well, however, at the end of the training, something weird happened. Sudden PAIN in my left chest again. I call it weird and sudden but I did ask for it. You think that's idiotic? Wait, it gets worse. So I just took my meds and put on some cream for it to calm down. It kinda did after a few hours. 

THE NEXT DAY. I feel better. A small tingly sensation in my chest all day, which is supposed to be a warning for me to sit it out, but I don't. Come training time, I just decide to it. Fady, a friend of mine comes over. I figured "it's Back and Biceps, this training doesn't involve the chest anyways, all I need to do is work with perfect form and things will be fine". Long story short, bicep training comes along and it only took ONE cheat rep (a bit of jerking the weight) and "SNAP!" my chest makes some weird sound and my left arm just spasms once. Now what would a normal, sane, balanced person do? STOP TRAINING. What did I do? I just figured I needed a couple of more reps to finish off, might as well do them. Didn't really feel a thing till the end of the workout, when my muscles cooled down a bit. Intense pain came back. I couldn't lift my arm, I couldn't inhale. I couldn't move. I ASKED FOR IT. And I'm not learning. And I can't even concieve HOW I didn't stop myself and simply kept on going with the pain FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT! 

You know what's funny? I feel a split personality here: I'm capitalizing words while writing because of how pissed I am. It's as if I'm yelling at myself. But at the same time, it's as if another voice in me is answering back: "so what? I need to do this. I need to get there". I feel schizophrenic.
I took painkillers yesterday. I was numb at the end of the day. And what I can't believe is that there's still a voice in my head not even thinking of taking not five, but ONE DAY's break. Thinking that I could rest when my challenge is over. I don't even link it to the whole spartan thing. It's not like I thought, "you know what? "No Retreat, No surrender" I should keep going". And I'm stuck in this crappy dilemma which is supposed to be a no brainer. 

I'm confused: Train and get hurt and fuck up my challenge? Or Rest and fuck up my challenge?  
Could I get your opinion on this? Really. It 's supposed to be clear to me but I'm even considering training today as well and I don't understand HOW I'm even permitting myself to think that way. I shouldn't even let you guys know about this but I figured, "honest and genuine documentation", I'll look back and have the true story and hopefully laugh it off. 

By the way, I dropped back the weight I gained 2.5kgs this week. See what good training and dieting does? That's why I'm being stubborn. I'm 91 now, I could go down to 87 by the end of the run... If I train.

I'm gonna stop typing. This post makes me sound like complete idiot.

Ayya "Haou" ayya ballout. ("no way for a Haou")