DAY 39: AB PANIC / ROADSTERS BETRAYS ME

I ended up doing leg training yesterday. After a LOT of procrastinating. Not with Milos, but Peter, another sports freak and Russian martial artist friend of mine. We didn't complete the training – my toe was hurting and I was completely drained. I didn't do the Ab Ripper X training either.

Anis passed by to get P90x and chillax a bit. As we were sitting, he pointed at my tummy in shock. I had a belly. I still had a lot of Fat in that region. I hadn't even perceived that and would've sworn that I was much flatter. I reassured him that it was because we were sitting, even stood up and showed him the packs and the progress. He was pretty impressed.

Maybe the Wii Fit can help me out just for fun cardio sessions? :)

As the night came, we had decided to go partying with Anis, who can really psyche you up when it comes to partying. But when the night came, nothing made me budge. I was tired and was reading DragonBall. Sara kept on nagging till we went out really late. Just for merely an hour. Gemmayze was packed. I was suprised to see that many people roaming around, but I realized that it was a Saturday night and that it was I who decided to be a hermit, not them. I was the weird one, not them. As I went into Myu I was greeted by George, a good friend who really boosted me up telling me he loved the blog and thought it was crazy and really motivating, he let me know about other friends following on it! George if you're reading, thanks bro; I appreciate it. You put me in a great mood. Then I went to a sketchy pub called Whispers (by the way, no alcohol all the way, just plain room temperature water) for a friend's birthday – I didn't eat cake either. Again greeted by other friends who stated talking about the blog. Apparently, everyone around knew about it and was following on the progress. Some funny jokes were made about the Halloween party being in the Cedars and me parading around all half naked and freezing my balls off! Or not being able to carry around all the weapons I'm gonna be holding. Sara and I started planning how we're gonna work on the sword, the spear and the shield. It's not gonna be an easy task! I have to start thinking about that too.  

All was well till I saw a friend stretch out his arm and grab my tummy. "Man! Chou hayda?! Lezim tchiloun holé! Baddak tla77i2" (man wtf? you have to remove those, and fast) I started panicking. He talked about Fat burners and I started panicking. To be honest, my ab section did start to fade. I didn't really think about it because of how quickly my body took on the weight training and started to shape up with more muscle mass. I had started upping my carb intake – more digestive, Truemass and Cell tech, with an extra of 160 grams with the shakes alone! That must have caused it. If I'm gonna add creatine to the training, it better not be drenched in Sugar. I'll into something other than Celltech with zero sugar. Ricardo suggested I lower the digestive intake and have more Honey which is exaclty what I'm going to do. That would change everything actually. I'll lower the carbs by 120g with the shakes alone, and the digestive will help out as well. More honey should do the trick, only I need to experiment to know exactly when to take it before training. To be honest, I think the big amount of digestive is making me sleepy :)

The funny thing about writing what happens down is that all the panic I feel just withers bit by bit as a more objective solution comes forth: lowering intake and finding energy substitutions. I had been holding off on the Cardio as well. I could do stationary bike intervals at the gym 3 - 4 times a week; the walking will help too. No need to add-on crazy cardio when nutrition will do the trick – let's not forget I'm training all my body twice a week, one with heavy poundage and the other P90x style; that's everything I need to add more mass and burn fat.

I have a confession too. And a solution for it.
Yesterday, while going to Gemmayze, I was telling Sara about how I'm not craving any burgers or friture. How all these foods don't feel special to me anymore. I was really proud.
Here's the mistake though. Sara got hungry at the end of the night. The only open place was Roadsters – apart from the crap they serve at B2B, Leil Nhar and Zaatar W Zeit. We went there so that Sara could have a salad. It only took a whiff of friture as we approached the place to awake my fast food monster instinct. Cravings started. Not burgers, but Buffalow Wings. The kitchen was gonna close in 15 minutes and all I had to do was stall to order. Take extra time in calling on and ordering something. I took the menu and worked on a "chemm ou latt dou2" scheme in order to trick my brain and get out without committing any diet breaking crimes. Now that I think about it, I should have just gotten out while I still could. I cracked. I called the waiter up. "Is the Kitchen closed?!" hoping he's just say "yes" and stop me there. But he said "No, it's still open". "Are you sure?" I asked kinda begging he'd get what I mean. He pretended to check and acknowledged my plea: "Sorry, yes, the kitchen closed". I was relieved.

"What did you want to order anyways Mike?" my supporting friends asked. "Buffalo wings and a Burger Quasedillas" I said, so relieved that I didn't. And here's where all went wrong. Sara added "Oh My God! Last time when we ordered them home, they were so..." "Divine?" "Yes! Divine! Even the next day when I took the leftovers to work?! Even better!"
I lifted my arm up. No one saw me. So I shouted. "PLEASE BADDE ETLOUB! PLEASE! BADDE ETLOUB!". Taking up the attention of the whole diner in desperation. I didn't care. I was just hoping I wasn't too late and the kitchen hadn't closed. No, not Buffalo Wings. Just the Quasedillas. Just for tonight.

I got nothing to say.

Funny thing. When I'm stressed, I eat. Ironically, this time I was stressed about gaining weight and not making it, not getting ripped in time... So I ate.
Another thing I solved though. If I think I have as much reserve and determination as Muslims during Ramadan, glaring at us all day long as we stuff our faces with succulent food, not making a peep, not even considering a tiny taste, not even DRINKING WATER because of their beliefs ... well, clearly... I'm wrong. To be honest, I don't know how they do it and you can't imagine how much I respect them, no matter what my beliefs may be. I know this challenge has nothing do with something as sacred and holy as Ramadan and I'm actually not comparing. I just want to make a point: there is no way I will CONSISTENTLY be able to step into a restaurant and not partake in the glorious ritual of eating. And I'm sorry but even if Tony Robbins is going to urge me to change my beliefs into perceiving junk food as Pain and not Pleasure, it's not gonna happen. What I need to do is simply GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ROADSTERS and make it as hard as possible for me to get the urge of picking up my phone and dialing 01/325777 (i ve associated the tree 7s in the end as "Perfect, Perfect, Perfect", and that's how I got to memorize that it's 777 not 01/327555). I need to get to my mouth the food that is going to make me get to where I need to be in 29 days, before I consider reaching to something else. Besides, as soon as I get to my ideal weight, I'm planning to follow Dr.Yunis' stabilization diet: a very varied set menu one day and WHATEVER I WANT TO EAT the other. This should work out pretty well.

I'm going to stop chitchatting and get to work.

As I said to Sara this morning, with no remorse of what happened yesterday: "we live and we learn. It's not only a question of Will, which might not always be there when we need it, it's a question of setting it up so you would keep on going. Whether it's getting a training partner or PARTNERS, in case someone fails to show, or keeping bad food away and good food all around, watching up beat movies like Rocky and working on a crazy-ass motivational song playlist...

...It's not always about Will, you also have to use your brain in order to get you to your goal."

And I'm gonna get there. You just watch me.



 HAOUUUUU! HAOUUUU! HAOUUUUUU!

"It's not Fear that grips him. Only restlessness. A heightened sense of things." – Delios