Why Dine In Hell: The Reason behind the Madness

For people who missed last year's challenge, understand how it all started this by reading this preliminairy post.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

DAY 17: Psyched myself out!! / Full Bucket Load of Rocky Type Action Movie CHEESE

OK. I think this day can be directly turned into a motion picture. An 80s, fully clichéd motion picture. The funny thing is that you know that events become "clichés" – so repetitive you see them anywhere and their impact becomes diluted – because they're ... well true. Here's what happened with me on DAY 17.

I'm not going to put a lot of emphasis on the Karly jog in the morning, not because it wasn't kick ass, but because it doesn't really serve the story I'm going to unfold in front of you. In a nutshell, we walked all throughout Achrafieh and worked on getting Karly more relaxed with the environment; climbing buses, being around the creepiest people I saw around, climbing on any type of surface from wooden tables, to metal beams and even climbing on cars. I do this because you never know when I'll decide to turn into a crime Fighter or a Renegade and want to have my Monster German shepherd jump from car to car with me as we flee the cops, or decide to vandalize private property with my Monster truck or Cross country bike ... You never know! let's say I decide to participate in the Mondio Ring one day (very prestigious dog competition), after Sara offers me some golden leash or something, I have to be prepared! By the way, the climbing on cars thing isn't working. I'm practicing on 4 really old rusty cars distributed all around Achrafieh: a Volvo, a Buick, Mercedes and Aston Martin. Don't worry, I'm not concerned with Karly scratching them with his paws, they're really broken down and beyond repair so no "YIHH! MA BSADDI' CHOU BALA ZO2" and stuff. Hahaha, although if you catch us at the right time, you'd see me standing "cautiously" on one of them trying to call out to Karly who's sitting right next to them concentrating all his courage to try to join me ... in vain. It'll happen soon ... really soon.
There are no limitations in dog training, check out the video below!

Back to our main topic. It's true, the day did start out all right... but you already know in what condition my feet are; add to that, my left Achilles' tendon got swollen just like my shins. Things are getting bad on the cardio level. I'm applying ointment and packs of ice on my feet and I'm only walking, not jogging, not overdoing it, which believe me isn't easy to do with a deadline right around the corner. So let's say I'm fully eager to press play on these Rocky songs – plus wake up at 5AM, drink some raw eggs (no way, I hate that), pretend Karly is Butkus and run as if I'm training for a fight against Ivan Drago – but my BODY isn't helping out that much...

Another thing. And that's really pissing me off. Mind any content that's coming up next: I've been constipated for the past 2 days. It's the stupid protein diet. Although I added veggies to my meals, nothing seems to happen. Even with laxatives, there's no "brown coming down my chute". I haven't dropped ANY weight since 3 days, while in fact, seem to have gained some. I'm 91.5kgs again now, even with all the crazy training and the diet. It's irritating me to say the least. Actually to be honest, I'm panicking. I need to follow the schedule and drop around 1.5kgs a week to get to 84kgs by Halloween. My mom's saying that it's the muscle mass I'm developing that's keeping the weight on, but I really don't think that's the reason. Plus my hips haven't retracted one bit and I call still grab my fat tissue as I did 2 weeks ago and I feel like a pig. The gains are going slower than what I expected!

I went to the beach with Milos and some of his friends in the afternoon – took my food with me of course. A diet Tuna can along with a chicken ceasar salad and a chef salad I got from Hawa Chicken. The boys were kind enough to wait out the chicken to be done because Mr. Manager didn't accept to give me 2 portions of chicken they would usually put in sandwiches on a separate plastic plate and call it a day. "It's not on the menu and this is how the system works". I love how people think for themselves here! While out there, I started wondering whether the training had made my body look as if I was actually working out or had just removed fat and me skinny. I sat there feeling that my efforts hadn't really paid off, although the pictures don't lie. I don't know what got into me and it really got me down. A month ago I would've walked around proud of my humongous belly in front of anyone knowing that I had chosen good juicy junk food over being fit, and I didn't give a flying fuck. But this time around it was different. I felt that at that moment, my body had to clearly show what I was doing. I don't know what I was expecting. The due date was still 49days away and only 2 weeks had gone by, but I was disappointed by the fact that my arms weren't as big, that veins weren't popping out all through my body, that my midsection hadn't transformed into those gigantic Toblerone bars that you get at the airport. I couldn't snap out of it and felt like a total loser! CAN YOU IMAGINE!? I'M NOT A SELF CONSCIOUS PERSON! I WOULD WALK AROUND NAKED IN ABC FOR ALL I CARE!! But this time it was different. I felt everyone was staring, was expecting something from me. No one was. No one usually gives a shit. What I had planned from the start had worked, but turned against me. Committing to people pushing me to work harder and set the bar so much higher than when I work alone – where standards are already high enough. The blog was changing everything. Having the blog was about sharing the process and getting feedback to evolve of course, but it was also a way to trigger my Ego to prove itself more than it usually does. Now it felt like a test though and I needed to come in first, I needed to surpass my expectations and others' too! And transforming into THE KING OF SPARTA, in 65days, were REALLY HIGH expectations!

I returned back home and took a power nap. I couldn't let anything that happened at the beach get to me. I needed to regain the strength I lost while exposed to the friggin' sun all day long – I'm not a vampire. You know what the stupid sun does to you; that's why I hate the beach. I had to "bring it" because tonight was LEGS AND BACK! And I had to motivate myself to the extreme.
Sara and I had a dinner that started at 8! I decided to train anyways and join her later. Priorities... can't mess with them. I know she got upset but I also know she understood my reasons for staying. "THIS WAS SPARTA" I was dealing with. This was Madness, and I had to go with it!

I had gotten used to Milos being around, it was fun and competitive. Now it was only me and the TV with a gazillion questions and thoughts rushing through my head. One sentence kept on repeating as I was squatting the hell out of my quadriceps and sweating all over the floor: "I'm killing myself for nothing. I'm injured and too tired. Becoming Leonidas is impossible. THE ABS ARE DIGITALLY PAINTED!!" HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THIS MINDSET TO CREEP IN!?! I had to pull it together. I knew what I should do. Like Rocky and Mick, Apollo and his trainer, Hercules and Phil, even Leonidas and the Agoge, I needed to have a coach, someone that'll let me know that I will "spit lightning and crap thunder", that I'm an "Italian Stallion". I called Milos right away and asked for a favor. "Milos, this training is draining the shit out of me; physically of course, but mentally too. I'm psyching myself out and taking too many breaks. I need you to train with me when the tough days come". He didn't hesitate. He wouldn't train with me 7 days a week of course, but he'd do his best to show up for the big 4: Shoulders/Arms, Chest/Back, Legs/Back and Plyometrics. I calmed down and pushed through half the training. Oddly enough, I had kept my cellphone next to me. Prior in the day, Ziad Traboulsi sent me a message on Facebook congratulating me on the blog. Knowing that he was a computer/internet wiz, I just asked for his feedback on how to make it more engaging and interesting. He replied with a series of messages that I only saw when I decided to take a break. Really interesting advice, but the last message he sent was different. Apparently he worked for Facebook and decided to offer me 50$ worth of Adspace for free to keep me motivated to write and push through the journey! This message meant something. It meant that all in all, whatever I'm doing matters in some way. And that motivated the hell out of me! I was ecstatic! I stepped up, unpaused the video, picked up the weights and kept on going!

Finished the workout – without the Ab Ripper X that usually comes after it – rushed to the shower, gurlped down my protein shake and flew off to dinner. I took my ipod with me for the ride, and put on the Rocky 4 training track to really feel as if I was part of movie, one similar to my favorites. Maybe a blend of both Rocky and 300. That's where I feel this story is going anyways. Sara can be more of an Adrian than a Gorgo, but blends both pretty nicely. Milos, a fusion between the coach in Mick and the loyal Captain in 300. Karly makes a much prettier/cuter Butkus. The blog readers, all of you, could be both the Phillie loving crowd – that wave to Rock as he runs in the morning and kids that race him through – and the Russian crowd who hate his guts at first but that he wins over as the fights goes on. I might not be fighting against Persians, Russian or American boxing champions, but I am with myself, and I fighting to win.

Uhum ... Notice the invisible yet VERY REAL CHEESE as it is taking over the screen, computer and now spreading all over the room you're in! Sorry for the 3ayyach analogies... It's too much. Believe me, I know ... But the problem is that I only feel it right after I'm done writing/living the moment ... So apologies for that ... it won't happen again ... or will it!?! Hopefully not anytime soon! :P

On a lighter note, here's what the training should be like now that Milos is in the picture. We should take it up a notch I guess. Maybe "Euro training" style?! Interesting question, would Milos be the Coach? Or vice versa? :P

By the way, as I got to dinner, I was greeted by friends that had been following the blog along, and got my first really good feedback and comments on the whole thing which put a huge smile on my face... Guys, I really appreciate you reading along. It makes me happy and motivates the hell out of me. So thank you! :)
I'd love to get your feedback on how to get the blog to be more interesting and fun for you so don't hesitate to contact me or comment under the daily posts or on Facebook. 



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